Member Wellbeing: Random Acts of Kindness

Today I was the recip­i­ent of a sim­ple act of kind­ness and it felt good.  You see, I’ve had a prob­lem for a while which has real­ly both­ered me.  I’ve dri­ven my fam­i­ly mad with it and my friends to dis­trac­tion so much so that they are all like­ly to be as fed up of it as I am.  Please, don’t get me wrong, I con­sid­er myself to be a lucky per­son sur­round­ed by the love of a won­der­ful spouse, amaz­ing chil­dren and great friends.  Yet, we all have our lim­its, so this act of kind­ness meant so much when I real­ly need­ed it as if I’m hon­est; my prob­lem is begin­ning to have an impact on my men­tal health.

Whilst I could talk about all the won­der­ful neu­ro­chem­i­cals which surged through my synaps­es and changed my cog­ni­tive response to my prob­lem, I won’t.  What I will tell you was what real­ly hap­pened.  Anoth­er per­son took time out of their day to come to my house, to sit down with me, to lis­ten and to give me their time.  Basi­cal­ly, we con­nect­ed.  I could tell this per­son had empa­thy for my cir­cum­stance which by the way in the whole scheme of things is real­ly noth­ing yet to me it is and, as we spoke and lis­tened to each oth­er, my anx­i­ety about the sit­u­a­tion less­ened and I began to accept the real­i­ty of where I was at.  I went from a place of dis­tress and despair to a place of hav­ing a lit­tle bit of hope return.   My prob­lem didn’t go away, it hadn’t changed but I now had hope that it might.  This per­son also gave my spouse a break from hear­ing about my frus­tra­tion one more time and to be hon­est, I felt so much lighter.

So, whilst you think giv­ing some­one an hour of your day may not make a dif­fer­ence it real­ly can.  When we take time to con­nect with anoth­er human to show them that we under­stand their sit­u­a­tion and real­ly be with them to lis­ten, the change can be sig­nif­i­cant.  So many of us are turn­ing to med­ica­tions to fix our ail­ments and our dis­tress when real­ly all the tablets are doing is mask­ing it.  Yes, for cer­tain men­tal health con­di­tions, there is no argu­ment against the need for phar­ma­co­log­i­cal treat­ments.  Yet for oth­ers, the treat­ment can be found in our com­mu­ni­ties in the con­nec­tion and sup­port of oth­ers, qual­i­ties and expe­ri­ences which are demon­strat­ed every day at our club for which we should all be very grate­ful for and proud of.  As I say, in the scope of world prob­lems, my prob­lem is a mere blip on the land­scape, but to me it is sig­nif­i­cant.  So, to the kind per­son who gave up an hour of their Sun­day for me, and to every­one else who demon­strat­ed an act of ran­dom kind­ness this week­end, from Mor­gan Free­man and I, thank you.

Pam Bubrzy­c­ki 

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